No Going Back
by Nittles
Summary: The "hopefully long-awaited" sequel to "Unforgivable." Sometimes you just have to live with the consequences of your actions.
1. Chapter One

**A/N: The sequel is here! I am very excited about this fic, especially as people were really wanting to see it happen! :) **

"I'm off to meet with the DG, make sure Lucas is kept up to date on your findings of Ishmael Khan," Harry called out across the grid as he made his way from his office towards the pods. He didn't look up to make sure Ruth had got his message; instead he increased his determination to win the battle against his leather gloves. Once he was satisfied with their fit, he walked into the pods and disappeared from view.

Ruth watched him emerge on the other side of the pods before emitting a loud sigh. It had been three weeks since she had given him the final brush off and he had finally reached the end of his tether. He no longer engaged her in lengthy conversation when she entered his office, he no longer flirted with her after hours after everybody had gone home for the evening, in fact he didn't even stay late in the evening's like he used to. She often found herself staring through the walls of a blacked out office, cold and unoccupied.

Rationally, she knew she had made the right decision. She told herself this every time Harry walked past her without sparing her a look, or every time when Harry spoke at her rather than to her. She had done the right thing, and he was still dealing with the consequences of his behaviour.

* * *

Harry sat outside the DG's office. He'd arrived slightly earlier, and the secretary had offered for somebody to make him a cup of coffee. He'd smiled, offered his thanks and made his way up to his waiting area. He fiddled with one of his new gadgets as he waited patiently for the tea-lady. He'd congratulated himself on his ability to detach himself from work on a more regular basis. Granted, his heart ached more than ever to spend time with her, to simply be in her company, but he'd finally come to admit defeat where she was concerned, and had set about making a new daily routine to help himself rid of any possibility it might ever work out.

The creaking of the hinges on the doors pulled Harry's eyes away from his phone, and he watched as the tea-lady approached with his drink. He smiled genuinely at her as he took the steaming mug and watched in mild amusement as she blushed furiously when he gave her his thanks. He'd expected her to keep on walking and take the remaining mug to the DG in his office, and so he was rather surprised when she sat herself down next to him and mumbled that the tea was for herself as she turned herself away from him, embarrassed.

"So what are you here for?" The tea lady asked eventually, desperate to engage the rather handsome figure to her left in conversation.

"I'm here for a meeting," Harry explained. "I'm a civil servant," he added hastily.

"Oh right," she smiled. "I'm Moira."

"Harry," he smiled back.

She blushed once more. Harry smiled to himself as he watched her try to hide her embarrassment. Truth be told, he was enjoying the attention, and if he really wanted to admit it, he would probably have told himself that she was actually rather attractive.

"So are you actually tea lady?" Harry smirked. "Or has the DG just got you fulfilling the most boring of tasks while it's quiet?"

Moira laughed and clasped her hands together.

"Oh, I'm actually one of the secretary's, but my shift doesn't start for another half hour. I came in early just to sign off some of my left over paperwork."

The door of the DG's office creaked open and the man himself appeared in the doorway, a frown evident on his features as he drunk in the sight of the two most contrasting figures on the bench.

"Harry," he smiled. "Do come on through."

Harry nodded his thanks and turned to face the woman next to him. He held out his hand.

"It was nice to meet you Moira," he smiled, glancing down briefly at their hands as she accepted and shook it hesitantly.

"You too," she stammered.

"I'll make sure to head out the main exit and say goodbye while you're hard at work."

Moira laughed again, the laughter dying down when she realised he was actually serious.

"I'd like that."

He smiled one last time at her before rising from his seat and walking into the office. Part of him relished in the fact he was still able to get attention from the opposite sex, yet part of him was angry that he would even think to allow himself happiness when he knew that Ruth would still be alone.

* * *

Ruth watched in anticipation as the pods swirled and the man she had been secretly waiting to see emerged. For a moment she thought he was going to turn and acknowledge her at her desk, but when he strode determinedly into his office she knew she had been kidding herself to even think that he might have thought to spare her a glance.

She grabbed the nearest files from her desk and walked quickly towards his office. She knocked on the door and waited until she heard the grumble of welcome. She no longer stormed in without permission, it was a pleasure she could no longer allow herself. She pulled the door to one side and walked hesitantly towards his desk, stopping just short and waiting until he looked up to acknowledge her to speak.

"Yes?" Harry asked expectantly, finally drawing his eyes away from the files the DG had handed him.

"The files you asked for." She held the files out for him to talk, and felt a pang of hurt when he moved some papers on his desk and gestured for her to place them in the space he had provided rather than take them directly.

"Thank you."

She watched, tears filling in her eyes, as he turned his attentions back to his files, no longer caring whether Ruth was going to stand by his desk all day or whether she was going to turn and leave. She opted for the latter; not because she didn't want to stay and tell him how much of an idiot he was being, but because she didn't him to see the amount of pain she was actually in.

**You know what to do ! :P**


	2. Chapter Two

"And you're sure Ishmael Khan has no links whatsoever to Tariq Mahomet?" Harry asked slowly, the tip of his pen being held loose against his bottom lip as he digested the information Zaf had just fed back to him.

"We're very sure, we've gone through every security check going, we've accessed all his bank details, flight details, and all sorts Harry. There's nothing on him." Zaf replied as he scanned over the results of the analysis tests Ruth had run for him earlier in the day.

"Right, well in that case just keep an eye on all the other suspects we're tracking on this one. Nobody can slip through the net, is that understood? Good. In that case I say we're done here for this morning."

Harry watched his team one by one as they departed and headed back towards their work stations.

"Er, Ruth?" He called out hesitantly as he watched her gather the last of her things and head for the door.

"Yes?" Her tone was abrupt and uninviting, and Harry was half tempted to tell her it didn't matter, but personal feelings aside, this was an important operation, and he would never forgive himself if it was cocked up at his expense.

"Keep an eye on Ishmael Khan; I don't believe for one second he's innocent in all of this."

"But Harr..."

"No buts Ruth, it's your job to analyse, and all I'm asking is for you to do a little more for me."

They watched each other for a few moments before Ruth finally coughed awkwardly and announced she was heading back to her station to do as he asked.

Harry walked slowly back to his office and threw himself into his desk chair. Things had been so awkward since they had spoken in his car, and in his most sombre moments he would admit that he missed everything that they used to share; the electrifying awkward silence, the late night conversations, the scarce lifts to and from work, the meetings in his office, the occasional lingering glance. The things that had once made him feel alive were now the reasons for his increasing melancholy.

Ruth got to work quickly on the task Harry had assigned for her. She knew she had covered every avenue when working on the leads from Zaf, and although his rather random request for a recheck, she was pretty sure he knew too that she wouldn't let anything go unnoticed. She felt rather giddy at the prospect that he had called her behind just to talk to her, and she was certain that there was a hidden motive behind his request.

"Harry," she pulled the door open abruptly and watched in mild amusement as his head snapped up from the desk as he turned to face her.

"Ruth, you went back over our data like I requested?"

"Yes."

"Good." He smiled and gestured with his arm for her to take a seat on the sofa opposite him. "And what have we found?"

"Nothing new," she reported, triumph glimmering in her eyes.

"Right," he said slowly, a thoughtful frown appearing on his features as he contemplated his next move. "And you've gone back over CCTV?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Harry paused for a moment before clearing his throat. "Ruth," he started slowly. "It's been brought to my attention that you seem to be slacking with the amount of work you've been doing."

Ruth opened her mouth in protest but Harry promptly pushed on, desperate for her to hear him out.

"I know things haven't been too good recently, and God knows I only have myself to blame, so this news doesn't particularly bother me."

He watched as she visibly breathed a sigh of relief.

"The DG has asked me to assign an assistant to handle your files for you, so all you have to do is process and analyse."

"Harry I don't ne..."

"It's the only way I could get you out of trouble Ruth. As much as it pains me to say it, you have made a few clangers over the last few weeks and the DG went into a full scale rant about it. You have to appreciate my position in all of this."

Ruth nodded slowly and bit her bottom lip.

"How long do I have before they start?"

"You'll meet her tomorrow, but she doesn't start until next week."

"Right."

Harry sighed loudly before tilting his head to one side.

"Her help will be invaluable Ruth, and God knows you could do with the rest."

The half smile he had expected from her never materialised.

"What's her name?"

He raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

"Moira Richardson."

"Moira Richardson?" Ruth snorted. "Doesn't she work for the DG?"

Harry should have known Ruth would have wanted to know every minute detail.

"Yes," he replied. "She's one of his secretary's."

Ruth spluttered.

"You've employed a _secretary_?"

"Yes Ruth," Harry sighed, his patience beginning to waver slightly at her insistence. "She's perfect for the job. There'd be no other person available for the post."

"Harry!" Ruth snapped. "I understand that maybe you don't like me much right now, but isn't this just taking it a little too far?"

"Ruth," Harry growled. "If you stopped for just one second you would realise that this change isn't because of me, or because of you, but because of our need to protect our country from terrorists, and as there still appear to be no links between our two main suspects I am not taking any chances."

"Fine, but don't expect me to be nice to be her."

With a final glare and a lingering silence, Ruth finally made her way towards the office door. Then she was gone.

**A/N: Thank you for your patience, hopefully I'll be a little more generous with my updates. **


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: Chapter Two has also been written. I apologise so much for the delay, hopefully the next few updates will be consistent!**

**The Next Morning**

As the hot water from the shower head cascaded down onto his aching body, Harry wondered just how much will power he would need to conjure up from nowhere in order to keep on top of the day's demands. They were still no closer in finding the link between their two suspects and Moira was on the grid for the day as a form of induction before she officially started the following week. As he rubbed the water from his tired eyes, Harry reached out with his spare hand and fumbled endlessly for the knob that would signify a snap back to reality, which of course would welcome him with harsh breeze and bright lights as he stepped unprotected from the confines of the cubicle.

-x-

Ruth rushed aimlessly between the rooms in her house, searching franticly for her keys. She knew the importance of days like these, days when she had an overwhelming desire to prove to her future counterparts that they were in fact no way similar in neither knowledge nor education, and in fact her degree and experience was far more charitable than those her secretary colleague would have obtained. The desire wasn't known to her colleagues, but her determination to succeed and win over other people was plain to see. It's what made her such a valuable member of the team.

-x-

The grid was bustling with activity when Harry finally stepped through the pods. Adam's brief nod as he strolled quickly to Zaf's work station indicated their dead ends may have finally broken free. Harry ran a hand through his thinning hair and headed towards his office. It wasn't an ideal situation; introducing a new member of staff in the midst of a national crisis. The knock on the door startled Harry somewhat, and after managing to compose himself, he put on his most stern facial appearance and ushered the visitor in.

-x-

Ruth watched apprehensively as the dressed up visitor approached Harry's office. She'd recognised the woman as soon as she'd opened her mouth for directions; the shrill voice was something Ruth had become accustomed to as she spent hours trying to fit Harry into the DG's hectic schedule. The apprehension died down a little as Ruth began to absorb the possibility that Moira was considerably younger than her, a sign that if the age gap between herself and Harry was laughable, then Moira was really taking the biscuit.

-x-

"Please, take a seat." Harry smiled as he rose from his seat to cross the office and close the blinds.

Moira smiled and uttered her thanks before doing as instructed. She waited patiently for Harry to return to his seat.

"I apologise for the rush around this morning," Harry sighed. "It appears that there has been a lot of Intel released to us in the last few hours or so, most of our officers have either left or are preparing to follow some leads."

"It's ok," Moira smiled. "I'm sure introductions can wait until next week."

Harry laughed.

"Yes. There is some paperwork the DG asks for you to fill out." He watched her pull a face. "I know," he laughed again. "He's one for throwing burdens on you, but don't worry, it's nothing for you to be concerned about."

-x-

Ruth was so engrossed in her work that she didn't hear Adam approach her work station. He bent down and leant into her ear.

"Zaf needs you downstairs, he thinks he's found something."

Adam had to react quickly to both stifle Ruth's cry and stop her from knocking the whole contents of her desktop onto the floor.

"Jesus Christ Adam," she hissed, her cheeks glowing a deadly shade of crimson.

He apologised and watched as she nodded her consent before gathering the appropriate equipment and heading off downstairs.

-x-

"I'm just going to check on developments outside. Once you've completed the paperwork give me a shout and I'll introduce you to some of the team."

"Thanks," Moira replied, before putting her head down and the pen back to the paper.

"Adam," Harry barked as he closed the office door behind him. "What've you got?"

Adam smiled.

"We have a link to a flat in Barnet. I've got Zaf and Ruth downstairs just running it through various systems and searching through the folders. I'm sure that flat is what links our two men, I'm sure of it Harry."

"Good, make sure you get back up in with you, we're not taking any chances." A pause. "How quickly can you get Ruth back up?"

"As soon as she's finished." Adam replied, interest perked. "Why?"

"Get Jo on it, I want Ruth in my office in ten minutes." Harry made to walk away. "Oh, and Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you fax through all the Intel you've received. I'd like to look through it myself."

"I'll get Malcolm on it."


	4. Chapter Four

"... Had said that you would be here with us for at least..." A familiar sound of the office door being forced opened stopped Harry in his tracks. He watched in fascination for a few moments as Ruth tried to bundle herself and a pile of folders through the narrow gap that she had allowed herself. After a few failed attempts and flustered expletives, Harry finally rose from his seat and removed the folders from her weakening grasp.

"Ruth," he smiled.

"Adam said you wanted to see me," Ruth explained quickly, eyes focused intently on straightening her clothes.

"Indeed I did." A pause. "I'd like to introduce you to Moira." He turned to Moira and nodded in Ruth's direction. "Moira, this is Ruth, our intelligence analyst who you will be working with for a while."

The deadly silence caught Harry a little by surprise. There was no friendly handshake or a smiling acknowledgement, just a brief nod of the head from one to the other. He knew Ruth was unhappy with the DG's idea of a personal assistant, but the possibility of women at war on the grid was not something he had been particularly contemplated.

-x-

"Zaf, go and get yourself wired, I'm going to fill Harry in before we go and ransack the fuckers flat."

-x-

Harry coughed nervously before wringing his hands together and placing them firmly on his desk.

"Moira, thank you very much for spending the time to come in today and fill out these forms, God knows you have saved me from a lot of unneeded stress and hassle over the coming weekend. I'll see you Monday bright and early yes?"

Moira nodded and muttered her thanks, before shaking Harry's hand, grabbing her stuff, and heading determinedly for the pods.

Ruth stayed rooted to the spot.

"I don't need help Harry." Her voice was challenging.

"Ruth." He let out an exasperated sigh and gestured for her to sit down. "I didn't ask for this to happen Ruth. The less people there are on the grid getting in the way means more time for us to do what we need to do to get through all of this."

"Are you talking about the operation or about us?"

Harry opened his mouth to retaliate but found himself remotely stunned. He wasn't the only one. Ruth's mouth remained open as her hand quickly came and covered it in a desperate bid not to say anything else. Her momentary confidence on such a taboo matter had rendered Harry speechless, and he decided to do what he knew best.

"She's starting tomorrow Ruth, so it'd be helpful if you could get somebody to move a desk next to yours and then help start sorting what you need and what Moira will need."

Harry watched her for a few moments with a pang of mild regret for changing the subject. Whilst it was all in her hands, he couldn't help but feel that despite the unintentional comment, the intent and interest for an answer had remained in her eyes, yet all he could see now were eyes that swam with disappointment and acute frustration.

She rose from her seat without saying anything and headed quickly towards the office door. So engrossed was she in her feet, she didn't notice Adam come striding round the corner into Harry's office before she felt two strong hands on her shoulder and breath lingering on the side of her face.

"Sorry Ruth," Adam smiled as he removed his hands. "Didn't see you there."

Ruth looked up and gave a brief smile before shuffling her way past Adam and back to her desk.

Adam turned back to Harry.

"She didn't take it very well then?"

"As well as expected Adam." He straightened himself up. "What have you got for me?"

"Well," Adam closed the office door behind him. "You're not going to believe this."

**A/N: I'm finally back! It's been quite a while, and with transferring so many files onto a new laptop and what not I couldn't quite believe I hadn't lost any of this stuff, so it's all being posted now!**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: Sorry for delay, I'm finally getting around to updating in dribs and drabs.  
If you're new to this fic, I would suggest reading "unforgivable" first, but like I said, it's just a suggestion.  
Enjoy!**

"Moira." Adam strode over to her desk and handed her a folded piece of paper. "I know you're incredibly busy but can you quickly nip downstairs and grab these files for me. It's pretty urgent."

Moira smiled and unfolded the paper to inspect the size of the list. Satisfied it wouldn't involve too much time away from Ruth, she nodded and folded the paper back up again, placing it in her back pocket as she stood up to fulfil her task.

Adam waited until Moira had disappeared away from sight before sitting in her and poking Ruth.

"Adam!" Ruth exclaimed loudly, swatting his shoulder playfully as she did so. "You scared me!"

Adam rolled his eyes and edged his way closer to her.

"Sorry." He smiled. "Anyway," he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I've found something which might be of interest to you." He watched as she whipped her head around to face him.

"What is that?" Ruth mumbled, giving him her full attention as she tried to rack her brain.

"I'll meet you in Harry's office, ten minutes for now." Adam quickly scanned the grid for prying eyes. "He's in Whitehall all morning; I don't think he'll mind too much." Ruth nodded slowly, an overwhelming feeling of nerves suddenly causing her to start playing with a pen that lay idly on her desk.

Adam placed his hand on Ruth's.

"Just be there, I promise I'll behave."

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Ruth," Adam called her name loudly as he strode briskly to Harry's office. "I have those files that we need to discuss!"

Ruth raised her eyebrows and Moira gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I think all this power is going to his head," Moira laughed slightly as Ruth simply shook her head and followed Adam.

"Close the door and lock it behind you, Ruth."

Ruth did as she was bid and followed Adam to the sofa.

"What is it?" She couldn't hide the nerves from her voice.

"It's Harry," Adam turned to face her. "Well, it's not exactly, but he's the prime target."

Ruth looked horrified, and as she tried to articulate some form of response her voice failed her and all she could do was nod.

"He's being blackmailed."

Ruth shook her head and stood up. She watched Adam's face for a sign of comfort, for anything to show her that this wasn't going to be a huge problem for them. He stared straight at her and waited for her to ask the most important question.

"By who?"

"Juliet."

Ruth made an incoherent noise and ran her hand through her hair. She turned her face away from him and desperately willed her tear ducts to stop working for fear of giving too much away.

"Ruth," Adam tilted his head to one side and waited for Ruth to acknowledge him. When she did, he noticed instantly she was close to tears. It broke his heart to have to do this to her, but if he didn't get anything out of her, Harry and the rest of the grid could end up seriously compromised.

"What do you want to know?" Ruth asked quietly, her voice breaking slightly as she took her seat once more.

Adam put his arm around her shoulders and leant in to whisper in her ear.

"I'll tell you what I know, and you can fill in the gaps."

He squeezed her shoulder gently when she nodded in response and leant on him for comfort.

-x-

Harry stepped through the pods and scanned the grid with expectant eyes. Everything looked in order, and with a sigh of relief that the grid hadn't been subject to scandal whilst he was away, he removed his gloves and walked slowly into his office. He didn't get to sit in peace for long.

-x-

"Harry, come and look at this," Adam called hurriedly as he popped his head round the gap between door and frame.

Harry looked up from the file he was reading and read the urgency in Adam's face and tone. Sighing loudly, he pushed himself up off his chair and followed Adam quickly to the source of the panic.

"We found a telephone trace linked to the guy Zaf's chasing," Adam informs him, turning his head slightly to check that his boss was still trailing behind him.

"Where is the trace being linked back to?" Harry leant over Ruth's shoulder to get a better look.

"An office block in New Cross," Ruth mumbled, wavering slightly as the scent of Harry's aftershave wrecked havoc on her senses.

Harry turned to face his section chief.

"Adam, get on it straight away. Contact Zaf and tell him to meet you there." Harry turned back to face the screen and thought quickly.

"Moira, can you go downstairs and pull up everything we have on this guy's past operations, I have a feeling we might have missed something."

Harry straightened himself up and glanced at Ruth's reflection on her computer screen.

"Ruth?" He asked uncertainly.

"Hmm?" She craned her neck round to look at him standing awkwardly behind her.

He shook his head and berated himself for being so stupid.

"Nothing, Ruth. You're doing great."

He forced a smile and turned on his heel. He knew that she was hiding something from him and he knew it was going to take every ounce of strength to find out just what it was.


End file.
